Distractions

How easily am I distracted. I got a whole helluva' lot going on right now. Case in point: I had to cancel my spring break plans to San Diego to see my wife. The military decided to send her off somewhere in the desert. They have her leaving on the holiday tomorrow, but the problem is she is just finding out about this. They told her Thursday. I tend to overreact often, but in this situation I like to think I gave the appropriate response. I canceled my vacation and began looking for last minute flights out of Boston and hotels for the next day. Only someone who had good intentions, questionable, wanted to assist me. I told them I had it under control. Now this person is right over my shoulder, mind you, insisting despite my firm answer. As I am trying to multi-task, the same question is being tossed at me in different forms: "What can I do to help you?, Is there anything I can do?, See if there are any AAA awards benefits?" etc. to the point where I no longer know what I am looking for on the computer, on Orbitz and Priceline and many other travel websites. Then, I become rude, relocate somewhere quiet, and frantically find some travel arrangements...

That lead me to Logan Airport the next day at check-in, an hour prior to my flight's departure. Only, somehow, despite having a clear plan of attack in constructing a flight itinerary, I chose the month of March for my departure date on Orbitz, not the month of February. I need space, I need time to do things quietly, with little distractions, but I also appreciate help and assistance. Not bombarding me with questions is assisting me if I ask to be left alone momentarily to book my flight without distraction. I guess this is just me being careless, as usual; the world tells me I need to focus and pay attention. Pay attention. In crisis mode at the airport, I paid enough attention to dash from terminal A to terminal C to secure the last seat on a Jet Blue flight heading to Long Beach California, a long way from San Diego, where she and I went to Sea World yesterday, and an even longer way from my eventual arrival of Texas to see my wife off as she travels into harm's way. Yet, I need to pay attention more when it counts, and not be so easily distracted.

Express Glasses

Sometimes, I'll wear eye glasses despite my 20/20 vision. There's a reason for this. I cannot maintain eye contact without a barrier between my gaze and whomever meets it with his or her own. At times, it physically hurts me to maintain such communication. That's what eye contact is, standard communication. When I wear my glasses, reality is filtered through their lenses, like a broadcast transmitted by a television screen, and believe me; I can watch t.v. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Once I'm able to maintain eye contact with someone, I lose track of what is being discussed because I cannot decipher mood and nonverbal language while simultaneously following the conversation, which, like all convos I have ever had, easily trails off into a minute-long dud. I suffer from inattentive-ADHD and NLVD, non-verbal learning disorder, which is on the autism spectrum. This blog will be about how I deal with these issues because they have gone undiagnosed throughout my entire life... until now, I thought I was normal, or, how I saw the world, perceived it, interacted with it, is how everyone else did also.

But, somewhere, deep inside my subconscious mind, I must have known something wasn't right, so I went to the mall and bought a pair of glasses that help me see a little clearer; and since then my life has not been the same.